


As the Leaves Change

by Rasiaa



Series: Fairshaw: Under 1000 Words [4]
Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: M/M, Melancholy, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26910469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rasiaa/pseuds/Rasiaa
Summary: "What's going on?" Flynn asks again.I miss you. You're right here but it's like there's something invisible keeping you from me. I can't reach you, or anyone else, no matter how I try.
Relationships: Flynn Fairwind/Mathias Shaw
Series: Fairshaw: Under 1000 Words [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939288
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	As the Leaves Change

**Author's Note:**

> This is rather depressing, be warned. Hence the tags. Shouldn't be too bad, but you never know.

Without many reports coming about Windrunner, days pass relatively quietly. That isn't to say that there isn't work to be done; that'd be too much to ask for. But the war is over.

He can leave work on time. In the evenings, he's with Flynn.

It's more of a blessing than he feels he deserves. But he'll take the good things as they come. Light knows there hasn't been very many.

"You okay?"

Mathias turns his head to look over his shoulder, startled out of his reverie. Flynn comes up behind him and wraps his arms around him, resting his chin on Mathias's head.

They're in the kitchen, the only light coming from a few candles on the table. Mathias has been sitting here a while, at first looking over reports, now whittling aimlessly. The table is covered with wood slivers. Mathias hadn't realized how much of a mess there was.

He sighs. "I'm fine."

Flynn kisses his head and says, "Lies. You've been quiet for a long time now, love. This hasn't happened in ages."

 _Practice. Love takes practice, and patience_ , he reminds himself sternly. Even with that mantra, it takes him a long time to voice the problem. He leans into Flynn's hold with another sigh, closing his eyes. He drops the wood and carving knife to the table and reaches up to hold Flynn's hands. "Too much quiet for too long tends to mean trouble," he says softly.

Flynn hums in reply, holding him tighter. "What's going on?"

"Aside from Windrunner?" he asks dryly.

"Yeah, aside from her. You know there's not much you can do about her right now. This is something else."

It didn't take very long for Flynn to be able to read him like a book, Mathias muses. He opens his eyes slightly and looks at the nearest candle, close to ending, then shuts his eyes again. He's tired. So tired he feels almost energized by it. It's an odd sensation, but a familiar one. He's worked for so long now, momentum keeps him going and not much else.

He can hear Flynn's quiet breathing behind him, an owl outside. There's never much going on in Old Town, and usually that's comforting, but right now it's just haunting.

The leaves are changing now. The air is getting colder.

Every year without fail it brings melancholy and loneliness. He'd hoped with Flynn it'd be different, but it seems to have just added to the problem: Flynn is right here, and yet he feels so very far away. He misses him desperately, but there's no space between them.

There's a weight on his shoulders he can't dispel. It's an ache in his heart and his mind, keeping him in stasis. There never seems to be enough work to get rid of it. Every spare second brings the weight back. Now, he has actual free time away from his desk. It means spending time with Flynn, but the man always falls asleep before Mathias. Then Mathias is alone, even though Flynn is right beside him.

"Hey, you with me?"

"Yes," Mathias answers. He keeps his eyes closed and focuses on Flynn, the scent of salt and soap and whiskey, familiar to him now as the scent of his own shampoo.

"What's going on?" Flynn asks again.

_I miss you. You're right here but it's like there's something invisible keeping you from me. I can't reach you, or anyone else, no matter how I try._

"It's just stress," he says instead. It's half the truth, maybe a third of it. Flynn makes a sound of disagreement but doesn't say anything else.

"Come to bed, love," he suggests. Mathias rises at Flynn's gentle urging, watching silently as Flynn snuffs the candles. Flynn takes his hands and guides him to the bedroom.

They climb into bed after shedding their clothes. Flynn holds him close and drifts off not long after. Mathias wishes he could do the same. Instead he stares at the ceiling, something that he could draw from memory, no doubt, every crack and ridge. Light knows how many years he's laid here and traced them with his eyes, mind turning uselessly.

Eventually he closes his eyes, but even then, sleep is a long time coming.

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, it's written from experience.


End file.
